This is going to be a tough post. I don’t want to rant to much since I really like it over here and the people are still amazing. So please do not consider my words as unhappiness – it is just a comparisson and one or two suggestions from a foreigners point of view. Some things are great, some things are stupid, some things crazy & weird and some again very lovely. And all those things lead to one final conclusion: Amazing Thailand!
Politeness
a student does the wai greeting
Let’s start with the obvious. The politeness in Thailand. Usually found everywhere. People are polite and treat others with respect. This starts when meeting somebody (you “wai” in order to greet) and goes on to humble when passing monks or elder and respected people (e.g. students humble when passing teachers). Might sound strange to european ears but somehow I like the way respect is shown. It does not make you feel less worthy but puts the other person in a respected position. That’s just nice.
Furthermore, as you might have already read, Thailand is called land of smile. Well for a reason. Usually people start with a smile when talking to or meeting with you. Until you give them a reason to stop smiling. This is a just another way of being polite and making people feel comfortable. Something many people back home in Germany have forgotten. And last, but not least, Thai people usually are incredibly patient. They let you talk until you’re finished. They let everybody talk and express his oppinions. For me it is sometimes why to patient, but when thinking of it, it is one more way of being polite.
Now that I already said in the beginning that there some things that sometimes upset me, let’s have a look at the second obvious and well known prejudice.
Thai Laziness
Thailand. Land of Smile & Laziness. Not always bad though.
Sounds like the typical stereotype. “Thais are lazy”. But man, I rarely came across a stereotype during my travels that fits more. Thais are lazy! And to get it straight in the beginning: That’s not totally bad and somehow even reasonable. Now that summer starts to make his way back to Thailand it is getting really hot (at least for me, Thais say right now it’s quite nice and it will get even hotter in April & May…) and I really have problems to motivate myself to stay focused during the hot afternoon. That’s what I mean by saying “somehow I understand” why you need to be lazy. Your body just needs some time to handle the heat. On the other hand Thais are used to it…but nevertheless I give credit to this point as a little excuse.
The next point I still see on the pro side: It is not that bad when your take on things is a little bit more easy. Not taking everything to serious would be a good thing for many of you incredibly busy business people back home. Life goes on even you do not attend just another important telephone conference at midnight but if you go home and have BBQ with your family instead. So credits to this too. A little more Thai style in Europe wouldn’t be to bad.
But now here comes the – well – but. When talking about politeness and all that stuff I simply simply simply hate it when people show up late. And I don’t mean the usual 15 minutes. Over here people tend to come insanely late to meetings or dates. When you say you meet at 10 a.m. you shouldn’t wonder if someone shows up at 11 or 11.30. That’s just the way it is. And this is one thing I simply can not – and a thing I do not want to – get used to. In my oppinion letting people wait for a long time is simply impolite and therefore interferes with the before discussed politeness.
What also plays into this point is that people are very hard to convince about improvements. As long as something is somehow working they do not see the need for improving. The most obvious example might be the dirt everywhere. People simply throw their rubbish away everywhere they go. Someone will clean it up later. And if it takes 24 hours for that, no problem. The rubbish won’t run away. Just throw it away and wait for it to be picked up. God I hate this attitude. It would be so easy to make some cities much more enjoyable with only caring a little more. But it has been this way a long time, it was working, why change it?
This “it is working, no need to change” attitude can unfortunately be found in almost every aspect of life. At home with their appartements or houses, at work when it comes to teaching style or teaching equipement and in personal relations. And as soon as you complain about it or as soon as you suggest improvements they will respond with “that is thai style, thai culture. get used to it”. But you know what? Not everything that is done for the past decades is automatically a good thing. And culture can be obtained even when improving or adjusting current behavior. As much as Europe or Germany can learn from the “take it more easy” Thai style as much Thailand could learn from the western World. If they only tried to listen a little more closely.
That brings me to the last point of my “God sometimes I hate Thai Laziness” paragraphs. Many people here do not listen closely or – if they listen – tell their oppinion. Some of my colleagues told me that is because many people are simply to lazy to argue. They do not want to argue with anybody so the say “yes” even though they think “no”. But in order to prevent discussions and arguments they will simply agree. This – obviously – can lead to further trouble. “Can we meet tomorrow at 10 a.m.?” “yes”….and then nobody’s coming. Been there, seen that. Quite some times. Same with the “I don’t know where to go. Can you help me?” – “sure. go straight, left, right….” – Quite often they tell you crap because they are afraid of saying “sorry, I don’t know”. I know it is a typical “asian thing” but once more: Just because many people do it, it does not mean that it is a good thing! Honesty should be a more important factor in everybody’s life & behavior. Be honest even if it brings some extra work with it.
Individuals
Another thing that I came across is that people very often do not understand when I change my mind or when I say “yes I could, but I do not want to”. Example: People ask “can you eat somtom?”. I answer “yes I can, but I do not want to because I do not like it”. In Thailand there is only “yes I can” or “no, I can not” but there usually is no “I do not want to”. Looks like it does not matter what people want. You can or can not. When you can, you do…”
Where amazing happens
buddhism = tolerance
When you remember my first words of this post you will remember that I said “Amazing Thailand” and that I still like it very much over here in the land of smile. That’s why I want to close this post with a nice and awesome point. What I really like about the people here besides their politeness and despite their laziness is the tolerance they show for everybody. I can not think of any other country where “ladyboys” or “tomboys” would be as accpeted as they are here. It is totally okay to be gay, lesbian, ladyboy, tomboy or whatever. As long as you are okay with yourself, everybody is okay with it too.
Same for the believes. In a country where 99% of the people are buddhists you could think that it might be hard to have a different belief. But it is not. They even ask if you, as christian, feel offended when everybody else does the wai in order to pay tribute to the buddhist belief.
So, to say it again and loud: Even though there are some things that bother me from time to time I like Thailand & I love the people. Amazing Thailand. For sure!
