May 6th 2011. A sad day! One of the saddest days in current history. At least for me. Today I was shown the undoubted sign that the devil of aging comes after all of us. With the 30 only days away that was exactly what was missing. Thank you destiny! I will unfriend you on Facebook for this.
It all started very peaceful on this sunny summer day in north-eastern Thailand. I woke up quite late, hat a nice breakfast, did the usual morning routine and then made me on my way to the local supermarket in order to do some shopping. Before entering the store I stopped by my favorite Thai kitchen to have a dish of my favorite spicy Thai food. Everything looked fine so far.
Short before entering the department store I felt a cold breeze around me and – when thinking about it now – I am pretty sure that the heaven darkened, thunderbolts could be seen everywhere and that a guy in a black suit with red horns opened (since there are ladyboys everywhere in Thailand I usually do not wonder about fancy dressed doormen) the door to today’s hell.
While doing some grocery shopping I remembered that I have to buy some shampoo as well. So I went over to the shampoo and shower gel section and was – like every average male – totally overwhelmed by the huge variety of shampoo products. I completely lost faith in leaving this part of the department store again in the near future when looking at the stuffed shelves. I tried to read my way through the most promising shampoo titles but couldn’t get through half of the brands without asking myself if I really understood what was written on the back of the bottles.
Then, when I was already making plans of how to kidnap a child of one of the other customers in order to sacrifice it to the mighty shampoo god, I happened to see a bright white light and an angel visualized in front of me. I have to admit, she looked different than you expect an angel to look. She was neither blond nor did she wear white lingerie (hey, that’s my picture of an angel!) but at that time her green department store uniform looked as sexy as it could get and her smile and the ability to speak English almost brought my faith back instantly.
hair retention shampoo - i am getting old
She started talking in a soft voice with a very nice accent and I was already thinking of a nice pick-up line while the harps started playing in mind and the honeymoon was already planned. But then I realized that everything was fake and the devil himself must have sent this attractive young girl straight from hell in order to increase my pain even more. After going through some brands of shampoo she asked me if she should give me some advice and I – I would have said yes to anything by now – told her that I was happy for any kind of advice and would do whatever she wanted. This was the turning point in our relationship. She reached out, past my hand, straight to the shampoo shelf and grabbed one of the bottles in order to give it to me. She then said “I suggest you try this…it’s even good for hair retention…”.
All of a sudden all happiness and confidence was gone. The harps stopped as fast playing as my heart broke and the pain returned. I wasn’t even able to refuse her offer or to say something funny. I took the shampoo unable to look her into her – now burning red – eyes.
With the hair retaining shampoo in my hand I walked – head down – to the cashier and could feel how her smile was full of fake mercy. After passing the fancy dressed doorman again and walking back to the bus station I swear I could hear those dude laughing on and on and on…
Damn it, I’m getting old!
